how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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