I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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