you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
