peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Green mimosas i think yes
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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