hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
how drunk are you?
Several
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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