Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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