1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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