google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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