oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
