I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
