i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
