She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
