i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
