I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
