It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
