It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
