So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
