Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
