Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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