i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
