the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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