you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
