Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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