Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
