Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize