And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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