Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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