My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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