super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
