Your mouth is God's brothel.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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