If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
