So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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