so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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