im about as happy as oj after his trial
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
