didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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