I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
