If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
