My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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