I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize