We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
