This is not my ceiling
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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