I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
