Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
