I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
