All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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