You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
