i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
