Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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