every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
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His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
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Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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