she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
