fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
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it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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