We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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