Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
