I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
