Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
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He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
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I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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