This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
