you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have post one night stand depression
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