Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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